1268 Acu-Tatter

Good news on the front of pain relief. Scientists have finally figured out how acupuncture works. It’s pretty simple really. None of that mystical qi stuff.
Acupunture tricks your body into thinking it hurts. Your body sends out pain-killing chemicals and, voila, other pain you felt in the area is dampened as well.
What a surprise. Who would have thought you could trick your body into feeling hurt—by sticking needles into it?!
This scientist stuck a needle into a rat’s paw and determined that the prick made the rat started secreting adenosine, which is a natural pain inhibitor.
The good part of the research, from scientists’ point of view, is that it now eliminates the prevalent notion that most of the benefits of acupuncture come from a placebo effect. The pain relief is real. And it’s increased when the needles are twisted once inserted.
Note to muggers and character assassins: Twisting the knife once you’ve stabbed someone in the back may actually help relieve their pain.
This also helps explain why acupuncture is good at lower back pain and headaches but not so great with broken arms or nosebleeds.
But it also opens up an understanding of why people with tattoos typically tatter repeatedly. Those thousands of tiny needle pricks give the tattooe-ee a definitely pain-relieving high.
Which opens up a new business possibility. Temporary tattoos for recreational pleasure. You do it for the buzz. When the old one fades, you just get a new one, and a new opportunity for gratification.
Plus, temp tattoos are good because fashions change. And we all get bored with old fashions. Who wants a bicep like an eight-ball leather jacket. Get a new look and a great buzz.
Tempo-tats. For when you needle-ittle high.
America, ya gotta love it.