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The CDC recently came out with the results of their study on the safety of American swimming pools. It wasn’t good. Turns out one out of eight pools should be closed because of excessive nastiness. Microbugs and critters infest them, so if you accidentally drink the water or ingest it with an involuntary snort, you could get very sick.
One out of eight. Talk about dirty pool.
The infections you can get run the gamut, from fecal stuff like cryptosporidium, to the more interestingly named shigella and norovirus. Hmm. Shigella…sounds like a 70s dance craze. And why does norovirus sound like a birth control pill side effect?
But the really weird disease you can get is pseudomonas. It doesn’t make you sick, you just break out in pustules. Sure to affect that perfect summer tan. And make it tough to use the tanning parlor.
“Sorry sir, no pustules.”
Of the 112,000 places tested, the CDC found kiddie pools and interactive fountains to be the worst. No big surprise there. Who hasn’t seen that cute kid with a dirty sagging diaper at the fountain? You can be pretty sure when that water gets recycled to the next fountain nozzle, the one the kid used as a bidet had an effect.
The CDC says it’s hard to keep pools at the right PH and chlorination levels so the public should be more proactive. Take test strips to the pool and check before you soak. Wouldn’t it be easier, and cheaper, to ban kids in diapers?
Another thought: If US pools are so bad, what can we expect of those lovely jewels in Cabo and Cancun?
Forget about Montezuma’s revenge, who wants to come back from a tropical vacation with pustules?
America, ya gotta love it.