1256 Hair Apparent

I heard a news story on the radio and it got me scratching my head. I thought it was one of those internet urban myths, it just sounded too weird to be true. But various news organizations have covered the story and it appears to be legit.
Send your hair to the Gulf of Mexico.
They’ll use it to soak up the oil spill.
Yep, it appears human hair, or fur, or feathers, are some of the best natural absorbents to really sop up oil. So hairdressers across the nation are collecting clippings to send to the oil-clotted coast.
It’s only fair, for years and years oil has helped keep America’s hair under control. Now America’s hair can return the favor and keep oil under control.
Hair of all types, permed, colored, foiled, streaked, even tinted blue, is stuffed into old nylons and boomed in. After a due amount of soakage time, it’s lifted out. I don’t know if they wring it out directly into diesel tanks at that point, of if gulf refineries have been retooled to squeeze hairbags.
All I know is, it sounds bizarre. And I’m worried the poor gulf folks affected by the spill may need more in the way of relief. Especially the starving fisher-folk who depend directly on the bounty of the sea to, um, eat every day.
“What’s in the Care package Joe-Bob? Little Billy-Bob’s starving.”
“Let’s see here. Aw shucks, it’s another box of hair.”
“Well toss it in the jambalaya pot...”
“Lookie here, it’s a full Hair Club for Men weave. I love that part.”
“Oh well, hair today, gone tomorrow. It’s protein. We oil have to eat something.”
“Shore doo. And the best part of eating hair?
All the energy we’ll save with built-in flossing.”
America, ya gotta love it.