#927 M-R-Why?

I suppose one sign of approaching age is the feeling that technology is moving ahead way too fast. From Model T flivvers to iPhones in one generation is tough for old birds like my Dad.
I myself, who was totally amazed by the electric safety power scissors of my youth, am constantly blown away by the multi-bladed vibrating technology of the latest rechargeable shaver.
Electric scissors for kids. Now there was a great idea. They had a safety snub nose so you couldn’t cut your fingers. But you had to plug them into a wall. So we lost a lot of pre-school paper-doll cutters in the bathtub.
Unforeseen consequences. Like MRIs. There’s not a day goes by we don’t hear of one sports figure or another having his knee checked with an MRI. Do you know how expensive it is to get an MRI? If you’ve ever wondered why ticket prices for professional sports have gone up so much, you might check their medical bills.
There was a story on 60 minutes recently about functional MRIs being used to read thoughts in people brains. This had the correspondent worried that the government could pry into a person’s most private thoughts.
Well not without their consent. Just going la la la la la in your brain could screw up an fMRI. And if they knock you out they wouldn’t have any thoughts to read, not to mention they’d still have to tie you down and make you lie in a giant magnet. A very, very powerful magnet. So powerful it sucks every piece of metal in your body out.
My multiply pierced friend Rick would have his face ripped apart by an MRI.
So the investigating government would have to be thorough in that regard too. Checking for pacemakers, artery clips, internal staples, skull plates and hip joints and stuff.
“The guy died from having his artificial hip joint ripped out through his lap?”
“Yeah, the G-Men thought he was a terrorist so they were trying to read his mind. The suspect was just asking his Muslim family where the safest place to sit on a plane was and suddenly its involuntary MRI time.”
Man, talk about pulling your groin.
America, ya gotta love it.