#926 Eau D’ Whoppaire

Recently, Burger King has come out with a cologne for men. It’s part regular fragrance with, as they say, just a hint of scorched meat.
Oh yeah. Bring it on. Mix your basic pleasures, young people—sexuality and fast food. A natural combination in this fast-paced rat race we call life. The joke going around is that girls love a guy who smells like a Whopper.
But my thought is they probably already do. I’ve seen some teenage guys eat in fast food joints. Or worse, coming out of a drive-thru. And a good portion of them jam the burger into their faces without regard for niceties like chewing and napkins, so a large portion of their whoppers end up on their shirts. There to congeal and reek for the evening.
Voila. Eau- D’ Whoppaire.
But hey, think of the possibilities when all the fast food places start their normal copycat routine and get on this bandwagon.
You could have Taco Bell toilet water next time you think out of your buns. Or Eau D’ Chalupa.
“Oh honey, you know I love you when you smell like a chalupa.”
“Fresco?”
“No, I like it baja style. I love a man that reminds me of a peninsula.”
“Do I smell burrito or are you just glad to see me?”
“I should have known he’d be a cheap date when he smelled like cheesy nachos.”
“I like my man wearing a bacon cheddar gordita crunch or nothing at all.”
Or how about Kentucky Fried Chicken? There’s a set of fragrant possibilities.
“I wouldn’t date him if I were you Sally. He smells like a chicken.”
“Oh, I don’t know. Sometimes I like them a little cocky.”
“Not that kind of chicken. Original recipe. Chicken as in not so brave.”
“But when he smells like chicken strips for some reason I just can’t keep my clothes on.”
“What’s got into you? I wouldn’t cross the road to go through the drive-thru with that guy.”
“But don’t you see? He’s just the kind of guy I’ve always had on my bucket list.”
America, ya gotta love it.