#611 Quietus Solution

The big buzz word these days is actually two words: Carbon footprint. Ever since “An Inconvenient Truth” came out, folks left and right have been making a big fuss about going green and lowering their personal and business “carbon footprint”.
Corporations are purchasing green power. Municipal fleets are running on biodiesel. And every effort is being made to reduce carbon emissions and use renewable non-polluting products and energy.
Every little bit helps.
When people scoff at global warming I say, “So? If it isn’t happening, it’s still a good idea to do all of the above. We’ll run out of oil eventually, why not start to develop non-oil alternatives now?”
Better than being caught with our industrial age pants down.
So personally, one of the things I do to reduce my carbon footprint is to not walk through the ashes in my barbeque. If you’ve ever accidentally stepped on and crushed a briquette on the carpet you know what I mean.
Man. That’s one tough carbon footprint to reduce.
The other thing I’m doing is figuring out how to dispose of me when I’m gone. I’d like to be as eco-friendly in death as I have been in life, but the usual alternatives aren’t so good.
Like the problem India is having with traditional funeral pyres burning up to 1,000 pounds of wood and rendering 1 ton of carbon dioxide per person.
If I got cremated locally, I’d probably contribute no more to the atmospheric carbon load that a week’s worth of dinners at the teriyaki place, but still.
Every little bit hurts.
I could be buried, I suppose, but again, with all the urban overcrowding, it seems a selfish waste to have an eternal plot of prime real estate that could be used farming soybeans or something.
So I finally figured out what to do when I die.
Compost me.
Dig out my mercury fillings, rinse out my innards and throw me in the municipal compost bin. Stir in some leaves, banana peels, and rotten salad and let nature take its renewable course.
Talk about going green.
America, ya gotta love it