#547 Tailgate Seniors

The other day I was in a meeting about the Lacey Farmers Market. The speaker was describing the upcoming events of the summer season.
Among them pet’s day, kid’s day, senior day and a chili cook off.
Nothing like a good all-American chili cook-off at a farmers market. You’d think you’d wandered into the 4H cow pavilion after feeding time.
Methane never seems to be an added ingredient in chili but it sure finds its way out of various digestive orifices when it’s consumed.
One of those orifices you could certainly euphemize as the tailgate, if you know what I mean.
So every time I hear the phrase “tailgate chili” I run for cover, or break out the clothespins for my nose.
Anyhow, on Pet Day the Farmers Market folks are promoting a low cost pet-chipping clinic. So I asked the speaker at the program if on senior day they were going to be offering a similar service for seniors.
Cause you know, some seniors do tend to wander off.
Everyone at the meeting laughed. Not least because we all get a little vague and spotty at times. And close to home humor rings the loudest.
But here’s the thing. It isn’t a bad idea.
The principle behind pet chipping is that a dog without a license and, of course, the ability to speak coherently—except to Timmy when the neighbor kid’s fallen down the well— can be identified with the little microchip implanted in their neck.
I see no reason why we couldn’t do something similar with at risk seniors.
I mean, really, wouldn’t you feel better if the nursing home, excuse me, assisted living facility, took the time and trouble to chip Aunt Mabel in case she wanders away from the kitchen garden.
We are so much better to our pets than we are to our people. We give them powerful painkillers when they’re in pain without worrying about addiction, we chip them, and we euthanize them to put them out of their suffering.
And the sad truth is, Little Oscar dog food is more nutritionally complete than the canned food we expect most low income seniors to survive on.
And yes, that includes chili.
America ya gotta love it