#433 Budget Boil

I spent too much over the holidays again. It’s as if my pent up budget carbuncle finally comes to a head this time of year and needs its annual Christmas lancing. Some people would call me a skinflint. I like to think of myself as thrifty. Thrift is not much prized in our consumer instant gratification culture. But thrift is what made it possible for me to own a home, drive a decent low gas mileage car and generally upset profligate spenders with my holier-than-thou I can get by fine without eating out every day and night like my contemporaries attitude. Truth is, I simply couldn’t afford such indulgences and a house too. So you make choices. About the time I sprouted my first youngin’ I learned that life is about compromises, sometimes compromises you don’t really want to make at the time. But when you do, you survive and when you survive you learn what you are capable of. I got this little fortune in a cookie the other day. I don’t know about you, but I love windows into my future provided by dessert items—especially cheap mass-manufactured dessert items. Adding the factor of a jillion-in-one randomness to the fortune equation makes the “it must be fate” aspect stand out that much more. In any event, the fortune said, “The education of the will is the object of our existence.” Unexpectedly Taoist for a fortune cookie. I usually look for a more Confucian approach with Szechwan cuisine. Still, amazing insight for a dessert. I mean I expect awe from a flambé, heavenly pleasure from a devils food cake, legal ramifications from an E coli infected torte. But philosophy from a fortune cookie? My favorite fortune cookie saying ever is on my desk at work. It says, “You will have an unexpected surprise today.” Well not any more. If I expect it, it’s not a surprise and if you tell me about it I’ll expect it so it won’t be unexpected and it won’t be a surprise. Who writes these things? One second it’s the secret of life, the next it’s a counter-redundant mishmash. I’m going back to the education of the will thing. That’s right on. Because that’s what life is. We start out as selfish and willful. Forget all that original sin original innocence stuff. Babies want what they want and they want it now. Feed me, give me fluids. Change the thing you forced me to poop into. Then they get older and it’s I want, I want, I want. Then it’s “are we there yet?” and “I’m tired” and various fits of crankiness. Then, slowly but surely, with patience, understanding, and judicious use of threats, bribery, and punishment you inculcate in them the notion that you can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes you get what you need. Then they dive into the consummate self-centered selfishness of teenagehood. If they come out the other side, maybe they’ll realize that life is about compromises, thriftiness, self-restraint and ultimately, spending like a lanced carbuncle at Christmas.
America, ya gotta love it.