#381 Help 98

First off let me say I don’t know that much about computers. I thought C-Mos was the stuff that washes up on shore after an ocean storm. So whatever operating system I’ve used over the years has been largely a function of what computer I happened to be on and not any conscious choice based on reliability, functionality, or delightful variations of industrial beige. It’s been one unexplained unexpected error forcing Windows to shut down after another. But I’m told by those in the know that of all the Windows systems Microsoft has ever come up with, Windows 98 is the best. It’s a rock hard, boilerplate, system that is as reliable as anything Microsoft has ever produced. So reliable in fact that Microsoft is having a hard time getting 98-o-philes from giving it up. Offices across the land have Windows 98 operating systems at every desk and, particularly with the debacles of XP, and its immediate need for an XP service pack, and viral vulnerability issues and one emergency patch after another, many an office manager just doesn’t see the necessity to give up 98 so that he may plunge into the morass of constant dink-abilty. Managers don’t like to be dinking with stuff all the time and many small businesses can’t afford to hire an IT guy that’s up on every last line of code. And, let’s face it, most IT guys embrace the title Geek—even when told of its origins involving circuses and chicken heads. So lately, Old Ma Microsoft has decided to no longer offer support for Windows 98. You get a little reminder on your computer to check for upgrades and you go to the Microsoft site and it say Windows 98 support is being discontinued. Now I know how my grandfather felt when Ford said they were moving away from the Model T. Or 70s engine enthusiasts when first introduced to black box mechanics and diagnostics. Why take a perfectly simple, functional, reliable, system and complexify it to the point where even random quantum electrical spurts can do so much damage? It’s like that gingerbread decoration stuff people use for trim boards on their house. It’s perty as can be, but it’s so delicate a sparrow collision could tear out a chunk. A solid flat trimboard would survive with barely a dent. But Windows 98 is old, it needs to be put in a home. All the hot young buck new peripherals are having a hard time communicating with it. And suddenly, many computers with Windows 98 are inexplicably sick. Now as I said before I know next to nothing about computers, but I know a lot about paranoia. I’m guessing the latest Windows 98 update contained a retrovirus. Yep, Microsoft, tired of extended care and waiting for people to move on naturally, and facing the Vista of declining sales, has resorted to killing Windows 98 on purpose. What’s the word? Like that young peoples singing group from China. Oh yeah. Youth in Asia.
America, ya gotta love it.