#327 Kill Date

In radio, we have an expiration date on ads. The time an ad is supposed to stop, we call the kill date. Sounds like something from a twilight zone world doesn’t it? Some grotesque Kip Kinkle version of a play date. I’m going out on a kill date Mom. Okay Honey, don’t let it get out of hand into a spree. That’s another weird word, spree killing. Different, according to one South Florida author, than a regular serial killer, spree killers just go off on temporary rampages. Rampage is a better word. Rampage killer sounds more Rambo like than spree killer. Spree killer sounds like an Uzi-toting Ronald McDonald.
I like the idea of a kill date when it comes to men’s fashion. Your average man would respond to an expiration date on his, say, shirt rather well; he’s relatively good with milk cartons and cold cuts. He even tested well when one of the beer companies came out with freshness dating a while back. With cottage cheese he’s less than good, but in his mind cottage cheese is already something that has gone over, not to mention that his few encounters with it tend to be in the what-my-wife-put-in-front-of-me instead of steak the last time “we” went on a diet, category. Which must be why we say old fashion. Like old fashion ice cream parlor. Or is it old fashioned? As in fashioned from things that are old, like curtains are fashioned from fabric. An old fashioned Fourth of July celebration. With old fashion fireworks. So I read this story the other day. Actually it was two stories side by side. Google news arranges all kinds of new stories like an old fashioned newspaper layout. So these two semi golf related stories were side by side. One of the stories was a follow up to the Rush Limbaugh Viagra flap. Rush pulled a Winston Churchill and said the stories of his premature demise were inflated and that he wasn’t going to get a stiff penalty after all. There were too many points of legal confusion so the prosecutor, rather than just let the case hang indefinitely, decided to drop it. Rush was pretty up about the whole deal. Apparently, the Viagra had gone beyond its expiration date, and so was it still an illegal drug? Rush’s interview with at a golf course. The article right next to it said that Phil Mickelson, choker extraordinaire, would be competing in the Cialis Western Open. So, two stories side by side on the Google news page deal with both golf and Erectile Dysfunction drugs. The Cialis Open? Is there a demographic thing here? This has got to be the first time a Erectile Dysfunction drug has sponsored a major US tournament. They ain’t cheap. And they say drug companies aren’t making money hand over fist. It takes a lot of hard currency to sponsor the Western Open. But really, in a post Janet Jackson Superbowl world, is Erectile Dysfunction an appropriate subject for prime time kid questions? Just go out a play with your toy machine gun Kippy.
America, ya gotta love it.