#236 Mind Control

I read an interesting statistic the other day. 10% of all 10-year-old boys are on Ritalin or similar drugs. That’s right. If we are to believe that doctors know what they are doing, 10% of all 10-year-old boys suffer from Attention Deficit Disorder. A condition, by the way, that no other country in the world recognizes and no other country in the world prescribes drugs for. Of course, they don’t have the stress of sitting in a dull classroom while being a part of the world’s only remaining superpower. Take that France.
Seriously though, is it possible that we Americans are so different that 10% of our boy children are so out of control they need to be drugged 24/7? Pardon me if I beg to differ. I think we’re just lazy, teachers, doctors, and, most of all, parents. Now before my teacher friends get on my case, I know, it’s tough to teach. And it’s tough to keep a classroom of ten-year-olds under control without the threat of a humiliating trip to the principle’s office or, I can’t believe I’m saying this, corporal punishment. Having a firm talking-to to little Billy and putting him in timeout just doesn’t work when he holds the threat of suing you for ostracizing him and leaving permanent psychological damage. Especially when his parents, who are looking to avoid the hard work of parenting, and all the responsibility for the results of their poor parenting, that they are only too happy to drag you to court. Much easier to send little bully Billy to the school nurse and for her to talk to the parents and recommend a drug that will not only keep him numb at school but have the added benefit of keeping him zombie-like at home too. What negligent parent could resist? Add in a lazy doctor who prescribes drugs on demand and likes to follow the trends and what do you get? 10% of all 10-years-olds added in the statistics. I’m using the word add a lot aren’t I? That’s because everything adds up. And add is spelled a- d- d-...
It’s too bad. Because it’s all so unnatural. I was one of those incorrigible 10%. If I was a kid today I would be diagnosed a-d-d-. In my day, I was just rambunctious. I couldn’t stand sitting for hours on end in a restrictive classroom. It was, as I say, unnatural. You take a 10-year-old kid, full of vim and vinegar and enough energy to hover like a hummingbird, and you plunk him down in a regimented classroom, tell him to be quiet, and force his nose into a boring book. Hello! What’s the title of the book, “Recipe for Disaster?” So now, you have a natural kid in an unnatural environment. How do you get him to conform? Give him an unnatural drug. That’s the ticket, create a problem where there isn’t and then fix it with a pill. In my day they invented recess. How old-fashioned. Now, if the kids don’t mind, why, they must need mind control. A spoonful of Ritalin makes the lesson go down...
America, ya gotta love it.