2319 Stealers Deal

I was reading a magazine article about various items you could use to store stuff secretly while you're on vacation. They included a version of an old-fashioned money belt with flashing LEDs, so you could also wear it outside your clothing for a midnight jog. Just remember to turn off the LEDs when you tuck it back inside your white shirt at the business convention. Pickpockets love LEDs.

The problem with secret storage is that secret storage stealers read the same magazines us normal people do. So they're out there on the beach actually looking for these items. 

Take the Contigo Autoseal Kangaroo bottle. Looks like a water bottle but has a hidden compartment where you can store your cash, car key, or hotel room key. It's also spill-proof and waterproof and BPA free. Plus it's a really expensive looking top notch water bottle. In short, the sort of water bottle that looks like it would be a good thing to steal in its own right. 

Likewise Slotflop sandals. They have a Velcro-sealed compartment in the arch area, which is designed to hide cash and credit cards at the beach or pool. Since the lump of booty is under your arch, it still allows for comfortable walking. Especially if a barefoot thief just slips into them and walks away. Again, they look mighty worthy of stealing all by themselves.  A stealer's deal. 

That, of course, adds insult to injury. You pay good money for an item to store your valuables and someone steals not only your valuables but also the expensive item holding them. 

When I go to the beach, I use the icky factor. I put my stuff in a wet, gooey, plastic doggie-doo thing with a hidden compartment. 

Now that’s secreted.

America, ya gotta love it.