1790 Photo Appeal

I see myself as an independent thinker. My conservative friends think I'm way too liberal and my liberal friends think I'm way too conservative, so I guess that's about right.
Or left.
You could say I'm bi-partisan, except the whole idea of partisanship doesn't really fit, at least not the way it's expressed today. I can't see myself as a rabid ideologue, sworn to savage my political enemies and refusing to admit there is any such thing as common ground.
Maybe I'm bi-particle. The spinning particles of both left and right bound together. Like an atomic nucleus with electrons and muons and suchlike.
I'm a political quark.
Since I'm bi-particle, I vote for candidates on both sides of the spectrum based on their personal qualities, not their party. So I also get solicitations from each side as well. Which means the other day I go this big envelope from the Romney campaign.
And I do mean big. It came in a huge 12-by-11-inch envelope. Thick paper that said "Do Not Bend, Photo Enclosed." I'm guessing they paid a pretty piece of postage.
Inside was a framable thick-stock photo of Mitt Romney standing in front of a weathered barn with a giant flag photoshopped on it. Mitt is wearing a button-down shirt and a zip-up jacket and photogenically creased and faded jeans. He looks like your high school principle dressed up for Halloween as John Cougar.
Sorry Mitt. Jeans are just not in some people's genes. Hard to believe anyone with hair that perfect could crease anything. Photoshopped again.
Oh, also included was a solicitation letter asking for money.
Cause, you know, randomly sending expensive photos through the mail can run up a deficit in the old campaign funds.
And what a good example that sets…
At least they're consistent. Because when you shop for contributions by sending photos that's also, um, photo shopping.
Right?
America, ya gotta love it.