#938 Spit Tune

So they say you shouldn’t tug on Superman’s Cape, pull the mask off the old Lone Ranger, or spit into the wind. But recent science has indicated you may like to spit into the wound.
If you want it to heal faster, that is.
That’s right, all that stuff you hear about the human mouth having more germs than dog mouths and people getting bit by humans getting sicker than from snake bites, it’s all apparently an exaggeration.
At least if you bite yourself.
Ever notice how if you have a lesion of some sort inside your mouth it heals quicker than a cut on your finger? Doctors first thought that was because the wound was kept moist. So we have all sorts of greasy antibiotic balms you’re supposed to slather on and then cover with a bandage.
Then scientists thought mouth wounds healed quicker because of “growth factors” in the saliva. Turns out there weren’t enough of those to make a difference. So researchers recently isolated saliva compounds known as histatins. They promote the migration of skin cells to knit wounds together.
Histatins have nothing to do with hissy fits, which can actually cause wounds to occur.
But the old adage about retiring from the battlefield to lick your wounds actually has some medical merit. And not just for dogs and fighting elephants. Humans too can benefit from a salivary slathering.
Slobber on the shaving slice under your lip and see what happens. Next time a cop stops you for drunk driving, inform him that you’re not drooling per se, you’re healing that wound on your chin from when you tripped over a curb.
And if you have inflamed eyelids, you might try a little saliva. It’s wrong to spit in someone else’s eye, but it might help your own.
Researchers are even now isolating histatins to try to reproduce them, get them on the market and make pools of profit.
Talk about injecting liquidity.
Medical marketers singing the praises of saliva.
Accompanied, perhaps, by the music of a wet whistle playing a spit tune.
America, ya gotta love it.