#839 Soy Sorry

The other day I was at an event and I saw this guy with a T-Shirt that had an interesting slogan printed on the back. It said, “Vegetarians Make Better Lovers.”
For some reason a zucchini popped into my brain.
But it was obvious the guy wasn’t up on the latest science. Or he’s been smart enough to stay away from soy.
Because in a recent study, scientists discovered that eating soy cuts a male’s sperm count in half. Ouch. I hate it when they use the term “cut”. It makes it sound like a bad soy slasher flick.
They should have said reduced by half.
Not that fertility is necessarily down for the count. Cutting, excuse me, reducing, sperm by half still leaves 40 million of the little swimmers as opposed to the usual 80. And, you know, it really only takes one Michael Phelps to get the gold.
But as Doctor Jorge Chavarro, the leader of the study, put it, “It suggests soy food could have some deleterious effect on the reproductive system and especially on sperm production.”
Yeah.
Doctor Chavarro, wasn’t he a Russian doctor of some sort? I guess he picked reproduction because he had to study soy’s effects somewhere my love.
The disturbing thing is, it turns out it doesn’t take much soy. The effect occurred with as little as one serving of soy per day. That’s like a bowl of miso soup.
That settles it. I’m not taking my next date to a teriyaki joint.
And as if I didn’t already have plenty of reasons to avoid soy lattes, I now have the threat of impotence hanging in there. My body has always been able to accept lactose and I try not to be intolerant generally, but some of the soy latte people seem just a touch bossy and pretentious.
Then again, I’m one of those guys that orders burgers with everything on it, not adding a little more of this ingredient and subtracting a touch of that. I have enough control in my life. I don’t need to micro-manage my food.
Except, of course, when I say so long to soy.
America, ya gotta love it.