#599 Groups and Cells

I went into this driving school to see a client. While I’m waiting for him, I notice the place is packed with teenagers.
They appear to be grouped in twos and threes and sixes; that clumping together with social gravity you usually see in the young.
Like galaxy clusters or tribal groups.
At first I cringe from all the incessant chatter, I rarely find myself in a big crowd of people, especially young people with a lot to say. Then I notice something.
None of them is talking to each other.
That’s right, there are about 36 people in this room and all of them have cellphones. And they are all talking to someone else.
Or texting.
This worried me, old-fashioned persnickety curmudgeon that I am, in a number of ways.
Do each and every one of our young people really need a cellphone? Is this combination safety-net/apron-string really for the kid’s safety or the parent’s peace of mind? And is that good for us as parents, or is it just a sop to our worries?
Worry this: Just having Billy call from an after-school activity doesn’t actually mean he’s at that activity.
Is his self-reliance ever going to develop if we’re at the other end of the line 24/7? And most importantly, are his social skills going to develop if every time he gets uncomfortable in a group situation he flips open his phone and starts talking or texting to someone he knows elsewhere?
How is he going to mature if he’s always able to avoid that awkward uncomfortable silence that grows between strangers in a strange room?
Where will he develop his elevator speech? How will he build up a small talk repertoire?
How will he learn to talk about the weather?
Small talk, irksome as it is, is the grease upon which social wheels turn. And physical groupings, with all their terrors, are what force us to learn to communicate, as ourselves, not some imaginary psychological avatar on the internet.
Real rooms are infinitely better for world peace than chatrooms.
If only because we must rise above our fear of others and engage in real communication.
America, ya gotta love it