1976 Movie Meal

Every now and then I'll come across a word in normal usage and my brain will stop moving for a while. By which I mean its normal internal movie will slip off the reel and come to a stuttering halt until some cosmic AV guy rethreads it and the picture of life resumes.
That happened recently when someone asked me if I had seen a particular trailer for a movie. I came to the word "trailer" late in life and it's always bugged me. When I was growing up we called them "previews." You could go to the theater, pay your quarter, and after the Three Stooges and old Laurel and Hardy reels, watch 5 or 6 previews before the actual movie. I would make it through half a box of jujubes.
That was a long time. A box of jujubes, properly savored, could comprise an entire movie theater meal.
Jujubes---recommended by makework dentists everywhere.
So it doesn't make sense to call them trailers to me. Because they always show them in front of the movie. And who do you see driving down the road pushing a trailer? Trailing unequivocally means following.
It's not a word like meal. My brain suddenly slipped the cogs on that the other day. Kind of an ambiguous word. I had a meal. Fine. It's mealtime. Fine. We are having oatmeal for our morning meal. Trouble coming...
Because your meal could be mealy. And when you say your meal is mealy you could be saying it is made up of oatmeal, or you could be saying the oatmeal has gone bad.
Like an apple, it may be mealy in texture. Or it may even have meal worms.
Which, despite their advance billing, are not a good meal.
America, ya gotta love it.

1975 Chip Storm

I gotta admit, I like junkfood. More specifically, I like fancy flavored chips. Corn chips, potato chips, Pringles faux chips, you name it. If it's in the shape of a chip and is loaded with interesting artificial and natural flavors, my addiction is very hard to fend off.
So, when I'm feeling virtuous, I avoid the chip aisle altogether. When I'm not, I cruise it with eyes focused and nose twitching, on the prowl for the latest exotic flavor combo.
So I think I understand the cartload of food I saw recently at Costco. Or at least the compulsion behind it. But its scale was beyond my comprehension.
There were two people in front of me in the checkout line at Costco. I wasn't looking at them at first. I was looking at nothing actually, but gradually some part of my brain started to register what was being rung up on the register.
Lots of prepared food. Multiple large boxes of multiple pizzas. Boxes of frozen croissant sandwiches. A large package of hot dogs with equivalent quantity of buns. Looked like about 18 to 24. Numerous giant bags of chips. 4 cases of soft drinks. And 4 boxes of Hot Pockets.
Lastly, and I suppose as a concession to healthy living, there were three big bags of cheese-flavored popcorn. Perhaps this was meant to be the vegetable selection, as there were absolutely no other vegetables or fruits in the cart. I finally looked to my right at who was buying this junkfood extravaganza. It was a mother and teenage son, both of them looking like the "before" picture in the Jared Subway commercials.
As I looked at them, then felt my mouth watering for the chips in their cart, one word popped into my brain.
Moderation.
America, ya gotta love it.

1974 Money Plus

There was a day when you could mail cash to someone you owed money to. The US Mail was sacrosanct, and anyone that messed with it was prosecuted to the full extent of the law.
If they were caught.
Which they often weren't since how did anyone know you actually sent the money. So folks turned to telegraph or money orders. That's when money started to cost you money.
Flash forward to now. Businesses prefer you pay online. So far it's a free service. Saves them time and hassles and the funds are transferred securely. So far... That's why they asked us to pay with credit cards, remember? When we did that too much, and the credit card people started to charge too much premium for it, they charged us in turn.
Then we were suckered into depending on debit cards. At the proper automated teller machines you could use them for free. Because, you know, you were saving the bank money since they didn't have to hire as many non-automated actual flesh and blood tellers.
I was at the gas station recently and they offered a 20-cent discount on gas if I used cash or a card from their gas company. So my debit (formerly known as "same-as-cash") card cost me 20 cents a gallon.
The final indignity: I heard from a friend his medical provider has announced they no longer accept cash. Only checks, debit, or credit cards. In effect they are saying you, the customer, has to pay extra, for your debit or credit card fees, or your check charges.
Sounds like an expensive lawsuit coming.
Because I read this on my five-dollar bill: "This note is legal tender for all debts public and private."
So when the Hippocratic Oath says “do no harm,” does it mean to your pocketbook too?
America, ya gotta love it.