1933 MacArthur's Pompatus

As I'm exposed quite often to the radio, I'm exposed more than most to songs, and the history thereof. So sometimes me and my fellow radio guys debate which songs and songwriters are the worst. Like the infamous Steve Miller, who came up with the odd phrase "cause I speak of the pompatus of love."
Steve was also notable for rhyming "taxes" with "facts is" along with Texas and Justice. I'm guessing he had a little too much pompatus that night of composing.
My vote for worst rhyme of all time goes to Little Green Apples. In which the composer Bobby Russell came up with the strangely unforgettable forgettable tortured rhyme, "God didn't make little green apples and it don't rain in Indianapolis in the summertime." Rhyming green apples and Indianapolis was a strange form of genius.
And bonus points for working Indianapolis into a song period.
Speaking of place names, that brings us to the worst song of all time, as voted by numerous worst song list makers, "MacArthur Park," a song that seeks to describe the loss one feels in a terminated relationship.
It includes the amazing chorus,

"MacArthur Park is melting in the dark
All the sweet green icing melting down
Someone left the cake out in the rain,
I don't think that I can take it
'Cause it took so long to bake it
and I'll never have that recipe again."

Let's just say that someone shouldn't be turned loose with a metaphor. And seriously, if this song is about a woman breaking up with the songwriter, I can see why.
Even having been divorced three times, and nevermind about fruitcakes and ding-dongs, I've never made the egregious mistake of comparing any of my relationships to a baked good.
And no, none of my exes live in Texas.
America, ya gotta love it.

1932 Broken Pieces

The world is such a jumble of change. The other day I woke up suddenly, my heart beating like a hummingbird on crank, and cried out. "Oh no, they took the wrestler piece out of Monopoly!"
As I collapsed back on my pillow, the various strands of reality untangled themselves and I sighed relief. It's the iron that they got rid of in Monopoly. And wrestling that they removed from the Olympics.
Both of them too bad if you ask me. Wrestling is like the oldest Olympic sport. It goes all the way back to the ancient Greek games. And funny thing, those funky wrestling singlets they wear now would have actually been the picture of modesty back then. In ancient Greece they did all their Olympic sports naked.
They didn't have that skiing and rifle shooting biathlon back then. Much less hot weather long distance cycling. Thank goodness. Sprocket pinch injuries can be excruciating.
So bye-bye to Greco-Roman wrestling. The IOOC is a little odd. I mean, they've actually kept synchronized swimming.
The Monopoly game is worse. They did an online poll to determine which piece to lose and which piece to add. So they dumped the iron and added a cat. Apparently, the online feline lobby was looking for equity with the canines, as a little Scottie dog has been a Monopoly favorite for years.
But I see it as another symbol of our laziness. It's not a little ironic that the iron, an iconic representation of hard work and toil, should be replaced by a pussy cat.
I'm only surprised they didn't offer a tiny toy replica of a TV remote as an option.
Nothing like watching the Olympics from the comfort of your couch while your kitty cat monopolizes your lap.
America, ya gotta love it.

1931 Tides of Time

What a difference the tides of time make. Especially when the times determine the culture.
Take Nimrod. I'm willing to bet you think Nimrod is an insulting term used to describe someone who is dull or slow on the uptake. As in, "Don't be such a Nimrod."
Interestingly, Nimrod was once a good term. It referred to someone who was a great hunter. Back in the days when people were a little more conversant with the Bible, they knew this. Nimrod was like the great-grandson of Noah or something, and known far and wide for his hunting prowess.
It wasn't until the cartoon era that Nimrod took on a different meaning. And it was Bugs Bunny who did it. In one episode with Elmer Fudd, who was hunting him, Bugs bowed down to him and called him "Oh Great Nimrod" in suitably sarcastic manner.
The new Elmer Fudd-like Nimrod was born in our culture.
Siwwy Wabbit.
Saw another cultural time bend recently. The governor was speaking at an event and he was talking about a little kid turning over rocks looking for crabs on the seashore. Then the Governor said, "And I had a flash..." and went on to describe his... insight.
"I had a flash". Not, "I had an epiphany" or, "insightful memory" or, "inspiration." No, he had a flash, like a 60's mind-expanding hippie. Funny, I've said the same thing. The age of Aquarius is now middle aged. I love the way language reflects our culture.
Lastly, I had a flash recently when the Pope resigned. He's the first Pope to use Twitter to tweet, and he's also the first Pope in 6 centuries to resign.
My flash? When that Pope tweeted 600 years ago, he used actual birds.
America, ya gotta love it.