1633 Foxy Reverses

You sometimes wonder why the Wall Street Financiers appear to dislike the Obama Administration. Because it sure seems like they've done well by him. Maybe it's because in his move to be a compromiser he's acceding all sorts of concessions.
Or has he conceded all sorts of accessions?
In any event, the news seems full of reverses sometimes. Like I'm not sure which side anyone is on. They say they're one thing but then another thing happens, and I wonder if they're really all just foxes in the henhouse, working together to confuse us while they're stealing our nest eggs.
Like Rick Perry's miracle in Texas. Turns out about 80 percent of the new jobs created since 2007 went to newly-arrived immigrants. Half of those were in the country illegally. The employment of native-born Texans actually declined over that period.
Wait a minute. Isn't he supposed to be a Republican?
On the flip side, in the supposedly business unfriendly Democratic administration, Wall Street Securities firms made $83 billion in profit during the last two and a half years under Obama.
Those same firms only made $77 billion in profit during the entire eight years of the Bush Administration
And it wasn't just Wall Streeters. In 2010 members of Congress had a collective net worth of $2 billion, a 25% hike over 2008, and that doesn't even include home values. To be fair and balanced, as in account balances, the median net worth of congressfolks is a mere $513,000.
The 50 richest lawmakers account for 80 percent of the wealth—probably just a few folks innocently padding their retirement before they have to go off to work in the not-nearly-as-lucrative wasteland of Wall Street consulting firms.
Anyone seen my 401K recently?
I think I left it in the henhouse.
America, ya gotta love it.

1632 Key Ingredient

I was listening to a couple of old guys talking the other day. One said something to his friend about his grandson doing something with a keyboard. As I heard the word "keyboard" flow out in the old guy's voice, it occurred to me it isn't that old a word used in that context.
Before the 80s, people didn't even refer to organs as keyboards. You had keys, to be sure, but the entire key arrangement really had no name. The key interface on a typewriter was just referred to by such statements as "...put your fingers on the keys."
Although the etymology dictionary says the word first came into use in 1819, I sure as heck don't remember people using it that much until the computer age, when the "keyboard" developed as an autonomous unit that you could plug in.
All of which leads me to an interesting story I read recently about a great modern innovation, developed by a guy who hates furniture that can't be fixed when a piece breaks. His product is called the rev-->table. It includes a digital blueprint that will allow any shop with computer-controlled tools to craft a replica part.
It's key innovation is having a design code etched on an aluminum plate embedded in the furniture that can then be read by any smartphone. This way, the inventor says, "...your furniture could last forever."
Sure.
Because if you lose a piece of furniture because its replacements went out of style, your smartphone will be able to read and recreate the plan.
Uh-huh.
And your smartphone? Is that going to last forever? Cause I got a great plan for my kitchen table already.
It's stored on a 5 1/2 inch floppy.
Right next to my typewriter.
America, ya gotta love it.

1631 i-Maculate

Recently I heard a guy on the radio say "e-maculate" and really stressed the E. My first thought was it was some sort of new product from Apple or whoever. Some kind of app that keeps your software clean.
Or maybe one of those little handi-wipe swiffer-like things for the faceplate of your phone. Where your face and your fingerprints and the greasy ejecta of a dirty world coagulate on the screen so thick it's hard to read your icons.
E-maculate will get it clean.
But no, he was just pronouncing immaculate wrong. Still, it did get me thinking. You hear about immaculate as in conception and immaculate as in clean, what gives?
Is there an opposite word, maculate, that means dirty?
The answer is yes. Kind of.
Maculate actually means spotted. That’s why immaculate means spotless or flawless. If you have a sunspot on your skin, it's called a macula. Which is the original Latin root of the word, and means, simply, spot or stain. That’s also why macular degeneration leads to spotted and eventually blotted-out vision.
Interestingly, the word "mackle" has similar origins. Yes mackle. I never heard of it either before this research tangent started. Sounds like something Cape Cod Fishermen wear in bad weather doesn't it?
"There's a big nor'easter blowing Jonathan, be sure to strap on your mackle."
But no, a mackle is a screw-up in printing when a wrinkle in the paper or a laser deja vu causes a doubled or blurred impression.
Finally, guess what? Maculation was also a Middle English word, since retired, which had the meaning of being sexually soiled or defiled.
So immaculate as in conception and immaculate as in your clean countertop or iPhone screen are actually pretty close.
I'm glad I spotted the connection.
America, ya gotta love it.